


Getting On

by Itscomplicated



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itscomplicated/pseuds/Itscomplicated
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The conversation I wish we'd gotten at some point before William arrived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting On

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first XF fic. Feedback always welcome. Thank you for reading!

5 days into her maternity leave and already she was going mad with cabin fever. She’d cleaned every surface, every appliance, and every nook and cranny she could squeeze her bulbous body into. She’d even alphabetized all of her albums and books. Mulder had already assembled everything needed for the nursery, driving her bonkers with his proding enquires on the gender and what her plans were after miracle child arrived and it came time for her to return to work. She didn’t have answers for him. She didn’t want to think that far ahead.

When he started suggesting none to subtly that she take at least a year off to stay with the baby, because no one could be trusted with their offspring’s wellbeing, she sent him home after arguing with him for half hour. The fight escalated past the topic of baby into dangerous territory of questioning parental skills. She accused him of being unreasonable irresponsible. He told her she was being resistant to anything he suggested because she didn’t trust him to be present for her child. When he’d said that, it was the last straw. She’d told him to leave in a tone she’d never used with him before. It bordered on resentful, edging on hateful. He left immediately, slamming the door offensively.

That was 4 days ago and she’d felt guilty the instant he left. But deep down, she knew there was truth in his accusations. He’d been gone for the majority of her pregnancy, hadn’t been there for the terrifying first trimester when she feared the baby would be ripped from her body for simply being connected to him and the seemingly miraculous conception he’d contributed to. But now she had to suck it up and confront him because Lamaze class was looming tomorrow and she refused to go with anyone other than him. Not to mention the fact that this was the longest they’d been apart since his return from the dead and she missed him like one misses a phantom limb. She’d spent the past 3 nights crying herself to sleep and forcing herself not to call him. He still needed time to process all of the things he’d come back to.

As she lay buried in the couch cushions, wallowing in her guilt and worries, she heard a soft tapping on her door, followed seconds later by a sound of keys jangling and the door unlocking. Tentative footsteps followed. There was only one person it could be. She didn’t bother getting up. It was a task just to lay down and get comfortable these days. He slowly made his way to her side, a ball of nervous energy. Hands crammed in his pockets, face etched in apology, he sat cautiously by her hip, facing forward.

He spoke first. “I was out of line. I know that.. and I feel shitty for even thinking what I said – “

She let out a long exhale at his admittance and reached her hand out to grab at his fidgeting hand, pulling it to cradle in both of hers on her belly.

“Mulder, you don’t need to apologize.. I should be the one to apologize. I let these crazy pregnancy hormones get the better of me, not that its an excuse..”

“No. No, don’t do that. Don’t put this on yourself. I’ve been thinking.. How hard all of this must be for you. All of it. Me. This baby. All of the risks and unknowns you’ve endured over this past year. How impossible I’ve been since..”

He shook his head, shaking off the memory of his resurrection.

“I just need for you to know I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. I’ll do whatever you want, whatever you need to keep you and the baby safe. Even if it means staying out of the way.” His thumb was stroking the spot above her belly button that now poked out like a knotted balloon, looking at their hands. Lost in thought.

“I don’t want you out of the way. I want you right here. But only if that’s what you want, too. I don’t expect you to drop everything or to think you have to be at my beckon call. This all happened in a way we never planned. It started out as something I wanted, for me. And I guess I didn’t want to assume you’d want to be anything beyond a donor, a friend–“

“Scully why would –“

“No let me finish.” He was facing her now as she pushed herself up to look into his eyes solidly.

“Once our relationship.. changed.. when we started sleeping together I realized how foolish my clinical detachment had been. When the IVF failed, my heart ached from the loss. But not just for me. For us. I knew then. If it had succeeded, if we kept trying, I’d want more of you. And you’d said to never give up on a miracle.. Next thing I knew, you were gone.” He broke in, “I know. I know, and you had every right to feel unsure. Or to expect more. If I’d known you were pregnant, I would have never left, though. You have to know that.”

He squeezed her hand for emphasis. She was crying in that silent way that tugged at his heartstrings.

“And when I agreed to be donor, I’ll admit, I thought about what could happen if it succeeded. I guess I held back because.. I didn’t know where we stood. Our relationship was still undefined and shifting. I figured that if you did get pregnant somehow, it would come between us. That it would change the dynamic, or we wouldn’t be able to work together. Selfish, I know. But I never once wanted you to feel like I wasn’t all in. I just wanted the choice to be yours, as it originally was..”

“Well. Your concerns and feelings were all valid. I can’t argue that. But I hope you know now where we stand. I’m sorry for avoiding it. For making you feel unsure. But I want you here. With me. With this baby. With our baby. You don’t have to live here if you don’t want to. And if you’re not ready for it all yet, I fully understand. Just.. know that I love you. And I’ll always want you, whatever you are willing to give.” He leans down and presses kisses up her neck, up her jaw to her mouth soundly.

“I’m here, Scully. We can do this. If we can handle a fluke-man and a town full of crazy vampires, we can handle a little uber Scully-Mulder. Just as long has he has your nose and eyes. Maybe my boyish charm and doesn’t doubt me at every turn.. He or she?” He asks for the millionth time. She smacks him playfully on the chest.

“You want a boy, don’t you?” “I want a healthy human child.. But a baby boy might be easier for me to control. If it’s a girl, that child will never hear the word no.” “Mulder, you’re such a sucker.” She says as she loops her arms around his neck, pulling him down to lay with her.

“Sorry to break this to you Mulder, but it looks like you’ll have to say no a lot in the future..”

“Scully, are you sayin??”

Her response is an enigmatic smile.


End file.
